Raven and Beast Boy Discover Generic Fanfiction!
by Triforce90
Summary: Raven, with the help of Beast Boy, discovers the world of fanfiction in hopes of finding good stuff to read. Neiher one of them like what they see... at all.


It was seven o'clock. For everybody else it was just another hour, but for Raven it was literature time.

Having been submerged in the fine arts, Raven often kept herself locked up in her room, reading books at rampant speeds and finding newer and newer excuses in order to go check out more books at the library. But tonight, she was not going to be reading any real books. Hell, she wasn't even going to be reading stuff written by half-decent authors, but she didn't know that.

But she would. Eventually, anyway. "Eventually" meaning in the next second.

"RAVEN!" shouted Beast Boy as he burst into his friend's room. "WASSUP?"

Raven lifted her right eyebrow in confusion as the changeling gave her a thumbs-up with both hands and a retarded grin plastered on his face.

"I'm about to read," she answered calmly, gesturing to a pile of books on her bed that remained untouched for over two months. "What are _you _doing?"

"Oh… Nothing," said Beast Boy as he lost his goofy pose and began to kick the dirt up off the floor. "I was just… in the neighborhood."

"We live in the same house."

"Well… I was in the hallway, then."

"What do you want?"

Raven was, to be perfectly honest, shocked when Beast Boy threw himself in front of her and grabbed hold of her ankles.

"She left me!" stated Beast Boy as tears welled up in his eyes.

"…What?"

"She left me!"

"You mean…?"

"Yes! She said that I just wasn't good enough for her any longer, and that there was nothing left between us!"

Raven grimaced in disgust when Beast Boy blew his nose in her shoe.

"Well…" she found herself asking. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Keep me company for the night."

Raven's eyes shot wide open. "**WHAT!**"

"Please! Starfire's out shopping, Cyborg's gone out with _his _girlfriend, and Robin's forgotten to take his Prozac! You _know _how Robin gets when he forgets to take his Prozac!"

Raven's mind was filled with images of the Boy Wonder tucked in the fetal position. It was bad enough that Robin had to be the wanking emo that he already was. She was in no mood to put up with a wanking emo without anti-depressants.

"Well…" said the empath as she gave the changeling a look of sympathy. "Alright. Just as long as you promise to keep quiet."

"Bitchin'!" Beast Boy leapt to his feet, and all signs of depression were gone. "What are we going to do?"

"_We_?"

Beast Boy smiled and rocked back and forth on his feet. The empath frowned. "_I _am going to sit here and read. Whatever _you _do is entirely up to yourself."

"What are you going to read?"

Raven had to give a full three-second pause before she could give in answer. "…What?"

"I said, what are you going to read?"

Raven still didn't know what to think. Never before had Beast Boy shown any kind of interest in literature.

"I don't know… A little bit of this, a little bit of that."

"Can I read with you?"

"…I guess."

Beast Boy smiled as he leapt on top of Raven's bed. Raven followed suit, except she actually walked over to the bed and sat down. However, both were soon lying on their stomachs, their gazes fixed on the stack of books in front of them.

"You know what else we could do?" said Beast Boy as he jokingly poked Raven in the ribs with his elbow. "While we're on the bed, I mean."

"Shut up," said Raven as she grabbed the book at the top of the stack. "I love you, but you know that I don't love you for anything physical."

"I take it you love all of your other friends, also?"

"Yes."

"Even Starfire?"

"Of course Starfire."

"Rawr." Beast Boy once again prodded his friend in the ribs. "A little girl-on-girl, eh?"

"What the **fuck **are you on?" asked the empath as she shot a glare at the changeling. She pointed towards the door. "Either shut up or leave."

Beast Boy frowned. He was only trying to have a little fun. Besides, he couldn't think of a better way to pass the time.

The only thing he knew was that if he was going to stay in this room, with Raven, he was going to have to get involved in something they both could enjoy. Contrary to popular belief, he really _did _like to read, but not the kind of stuff Raven was interested in. Raven had to read stuff that English teachers made comprehension questions on and gave pop quizzes to make sure that their students actually read the assignment, themselves pretending to give a damn about the story and saying that they were totally in love with it, but really weren't. Beast Boy, on the other hand, was in love with the world of fanfiction.

Maybe he should… Nah.

Hey, it was worth a shot.

"Raven?" asked the boy as the girl next to him flipped through the pages of _Son of a Witch_.

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever heard about fanfiction?"

Raven turned her head to where she was looking at him dead-on. He didn't realize how close they were to each other until her nose nearly smacked into his. "No."

"It's pretty interesting. I think you would like it."

"What is it?"

"It's a non-profit 'literary work' online in which amateur authors write stories based on well-known fandoms."

"Such as…?"

"Like… _The Simpsons_."

"So… Wait. A bunch of guys at home write stories with characters they don't even own? What about lawsuits?"

"There aren't any. Usually an author will post a disclaimer, but it's been accepted as a fact that everyone knows they don't own a character or series. You hardly see disclaimers anymore."

"It _does _sound interesting."

"Would you like to read some now? We could both be enjoying something at the same time."

Raven shrugged. "I don't see why not. Of course, you do know that I have no computer in my room."

"Well then… come upstairs."

"To where? _Your _room?"

Beast Boy nodded. He then stopped, however, and frowned. "Wait… What's with the emphasis on 'your'?"

Raven paid no attention. "I guess we could…"

"Of course we can." Beast Boy leapt off of Raven's bed with her hand in his. "It's not like we're sharing a needle or anything. Now come on. Let's go."

* * *

"Your room is a mess."

"I never said that it was going to be neat. And besides, you agreed to come up here with me. You should've known with that 'your' you gave me."

"I told you, that was just a slip of the tongue. I never meant to sound like I was criticizing you."

"Uh huh."

Raven frowned and looked around Beast Boy's room. "Now then. Where's your computer?"

"It's right over here." Beast Boy gestured to the laptop sitting on a shockingly clean desk. "I'm already online and everything. All we have to do is go to the website and we're all set."

Raven suppressed a small smile as the changeling pulled up a rather small and rickety chair for her to sit in. However, to her surprise, Beast Boy took the seat himself, leaving the larger and comfier-looking chair for her.

"Take a seat," he said as he patted the chair. "The women always get the better seat in my room."

"That's very generous," she said as she made her way over towards the chair. "A lot of guys don't do that for a lady anymore."

Beast Boy put his elbow on the table and laid his head in his hand. "Do you know what song people say fits me when I'm in the right attitude?"

Raven sat and gave the monitor a look-over. "No. Which?"

"_Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy_."

Raven shifted her glance to the changeling to see a large smirk plastered on his face. She sighed and turned her attention once again to the monitor. "You do this," she said as she once again observed what was on the screen. "I know _nothing _about computers."

Beast Boy took hold of his wireless mouse and dragged it over to the right. Raven could see the cursor minimize a window, then go up to a tab marked "Favorites". A list of topics fell out, and he scrolled quickly to one marked "Fanfiction".

"Click," he said more to himself than anyone as he clicked the mouse.

A white window popped up on screen, blinding Raven because of her rather dilated pupils. The window soon began to gain words, and up at the top she could see a light bulb. Next to this strangely placed object she noticed a rather mesmerizing line:

_Unleash your imagination and free your **soul**._

"Now then," said Beast Boy, his voice breaking the trance that had fallen over the empath. "What category shall we read?"

At first, Raven had no idea what her friend was talking about, but she soon saw a list of categories in front of her. She and Beast Boy could either chose to read about fandoms for games, anime, TV shows, books, movies, and more.

"I don't know…" she said as her eyes danced in her sockets. "You pick something."

"Hmm…" Raven noticed the cursor move around the screen, as if wondering itself which topic to pick. "We'll do cartoons."

The cursor fell on top of the link and clicked. The window once again turned white, but Raven was now well used to the change in color. Even more categories popped up on this window, filling Raven's mind with wonder.

"What kind of cartoons do you like?"

Raven didn't know what to say. "I've never really watched them…"

"Well, look around. See what makes you interested." Beast Boy began to scroll up and down the page, looking himself. As Raven lazily looked over the list, she noticed that the page was no longer scrolling. Beast Boy had stopped.

"Found something?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Yeah…" she could hear him say. "And it's weird. Look."

Raven looked for the cursor, but she really didn't need to. Beast Boy had put his finger under the category she was supposed to see, and she saw it clearly. At first she blinked several times to make sure it wasn't the difference in the light, but it was there.

There, before her eyes, was a category for a cartoon called _Teen Titans_.

"What…" began Raven. "What is this?"

"Don't you see Raven?" asked Beast Boy as he removed his finger. "A team of cartoonists have stolen dramatic parts of our lives, watered them down to a G-rated version, and turned us into a cartoon without permission, making us guys look like some kind of superhero posers and decreasing the sizes of yours and Starfire's breasts and hips so no offense would be taken by liberalistic and obnoxious N.O.W. members!" Beast Boy slammed his fists on the desk, rattling the computer and startling Raven. "God, what is _wrong _with people?"

Raven took hold of the mouse and clicked on the link. She may not have known how to talk to friends online, but she had the motor skills of a nerd who could safely navigate his way through every _Pacman _maze at five times the normal speed.

Once again, the window on the screen turned white, only to be reloaded with more words. At the top of the page she could see that she could select the language of the stories she was about to read, the genre, and the rating.

"This is… awkward," said Beast Boy as he took the mouse and scrolled up and down the page.

Raven said nothing in reply and only stared at the monitor, her eyes taking in every word.

"Well," Beast Boy once again broke the silence. "I guess we might as well read something, huh?"

"I guess." Raven continued to look at the page, taking in every title that Beast Boy would allow her to read. "Just… what kind of stories do they have on this site?"

"Well." Beast Boy brought the mouse up to the top of the page and opened the genre tab. "We've got tragedy… humor…" Beast Boy then clicked on the genre, and the two were taken to a new page.

"Humor stories?" asked the empath as she looked at the new list of selections. "What are they like?"

"Most of them are pretty good, but I've never read the ones about… us. Let's read one."

Beast Boy clicked on one of the first options available, a story titled _Sugar hi!_

"I don't like the spelling in that title," said Raven as her right eyebrow rose up to the center of her forehead, her right index finger pointing accusingly at the computer. "Can we find something else?"

"No." Beast Boy smiled as more words appeared on the screen. "Besides, it's a perfect example at how horrible some fanfiction on this site can be."

After the page was loaded, the two began to read.

_A/N: Hi lol! This is my first ettempt at fanfiction so be nice and don't flame please! _

"What's an… A/N?" asked Raven as Beast Boy scrolled down, covering the message up.

"Author's note. It's a message from the author to the reader. Pay no attention."

Raven nodded.

_It was a normal day in Titan's Tower until…_

_STARFIRE OMG STARRRRR" robin yelled loudly making the sound ring throughotu the tower starfir e was on teh couch watchin sum show on the tv she turned around to c robin come flying trhough the hallway_

_"robin what have you gotten into" she exclaimed gettin up and flying over to robin who was now in the cupboard of the kitchen_

_i found the SUGARRRR i found the SUGARR raven was hiding it from e she wouldnt tell me where it was that evil witch but i found it _

_AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" robin yelled still looking for more sugar raven flew into ht ekitchen with bb behind her and his jaw dropped open and they were both surprised to see robin shovelling sugar down his trought _

_"robin what the hekc are you doing?" raven yelled turning black from her powers bb turned into a dog and went and licked up the leftover sugar as robin screamed and ran around the tower _

_bb got hyper too and followed robin as a hamster that was squeeking a lot and the 2 of them went into cyborgs room_

_"CYBORGCYBORGCYBORG" they yelled 'COME HAVE SOME SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR" cyborg was playin a game on his comp but he grinned rlly big and went an dthe 3 of them went down to thte store and bought alot of candy and they got hayper and when they got home star and raven were sitting on the couch and they were mad_

_"dude mad mod was all insaneo back there" bb yelled_

_ya we know bb we were trying 2 stop him but you and robin and cyborg were being all hyper and we couldn't" raven yelled rloudly star just sat there quitely _

_" i am sad that we could not defeat the mad mod " she said and she started to cry again she then left to go make a sorrow pudding _

_robin cyborg and bb looked at each other and then ran to go put sugar in stars pudding and then they ate it and got more more more hyper and tore up the tower bcuz they were so hyper and star and raven were still mad _

_teh end _

Raven and Beast Boy sat in silence, neither one of them taking their eyes off of the final line.

"That's… That's it?" asked Beast Boy as he continued to stare. "That's how it ends?"

"Apparently so," said Raven. "Then again, it's not like I really care. I don't speak many foreign languages. …Is there a way to tell if there's another chapter?"

Beast Boy looked down at the bottom of the page. "Nope. Nothing. Just another author's note telling us to review and be 'friendly'."

"Review?" asked Raven as she turned her gaze to the changeling.

"Yeah. You can review people's stories and offer them constructive criticism, compliment them, insult them, the likes. And if you want to be a nosey bastard, you can read what other people wrote about it."

"How many reviews have been given for this fic?"

Beast Boy scrolled to the top of the page and looked at a triple-digit number. "308."

"_What_?" Raven soon saw what Beast Boy was looking at. "How? Why? Do people hate it _that _much? Wouldn't it be better if they just ignored it altogether instead of shot it down?"

"Hmm…" Beast Boy clicked on the number and the two were taken to a new page. After a short pause, the changeling shook his head. "Nope. They love it." He pointed the cursor to a small box filled with words, and Raven read the following.

_LOL THATS SO FUNNY! U GOTTA MAKE MORE I AM LAFFING SO HARD!_

Another box.

_Yo that's like the best humor fic Ive ever read update now_

And another.

_LMAO make a chapter another chapter where bb and raecould get together and hav sex because of the sugar that wud be funny_

Raven looked at the changeling next to her, who returned the look. The two immediately turned away, blushes on their faces.

"That's horrible," said Raven as she continued to read more reviews. "Why would people like something so silly and so pointless?"

"Who knows?" asked Beast Boy as he returned to list of humor fanfiction. "Maybe that's just what people on this website like."

"Well, is there a fic we could find without anything like this?"

"Of course." Beast Boy brought his mouse over to the list of genres. "We could read… Oh, I don't know. Pick something."

Raven looked at the list. It didn't take her long to question one of the selections. "Romance?"

"Yeah…" Beast Boy looked at the genre as well. "I've kind of stayed away from the romance section. That kind of stuff does nothing for me."

"Me neither. I do, of course, enjoy some romance, like _Romeo and Juliet_."

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed. "I read that. It took me an hour after finishing it to realize that it was a tragedy and not a comedy."

Raven gave a sigh, not knowing what to think. "Well… click on it, and let's see what we find. Perhaps there's something decent there."

Beast Boy clicked on the genre, and the two were once again taken to a new page. Immediately, the title of the first selection captured their minds: _Why Do Old Movies Make Girls Sigh?_

"Yeah…" began Beast Boy. "Yeah… Why _do _they make girls sigh?"

"It's quite complicated, really," explained Raven as she waited for the page to load. "It has to do with our lack of a Y chromosome and our desperation to be noticed. It also has to do with the position of the moon, but a lot of guys don't understand that."

Beast Boy said nothing. "…What?"

"Yeah… I thought so."

The fanfiction loaded, and the two began to read.

(A/N: This is an actual fic. However, before you start throwing things at me and start to scream your disgusting catch phrases to point out conspiracy, it's important for you to know that the author of this fic, SpiderSquirrel, has given me permission to use it. However, I'm sure a lot of you wouldn't have noticed it was an actual fic anyway, because it was written a while back and is probably rotting in Fanfiction Hell with the rest of the Romance fanfiction that everybody says they give a damn about but really don't.)

_All was quiet on the western front as the last streams of colors, from the ending sunset, died away. Raven levitated in front of the windows with her back facing the main-room. She carefully noted how the yellow light became orange, then the orange spread to red, the red bleed away to leave pink, and the pink faded into the blues of the night sky._

_The dark girl sighed, red and pink, telltale reminders of that horrid, fast approaching holiday. The day where chirper lads would ask the lovely lass of their choice to be their "Valentine", whatever that was. A day filled with candy and pink paper hearts, it was the Hallmark Corp.'s Christmas, and Raven Roth's tax day. She glided over to the couch, sat down, and turned on the telly, trying to rid her mind of every inkling of Feb. the 14th._

_Meanwhile, Robin made his way to the main-room in search of a carbonated soft drink to quench his thirst. As the door slid open he looked around, Raven had just settled down on the sofa and was channel surfing, other than that it seemed to be deserted. He began walking over to the fridge. Never did it occur to him that she might be in the most social area of the Titan's home. He slowed his pace a little when he realized why. Beast Boy had left around 4pm, with Cyborg and Starfire in tow, to see the new Space Mutants flick. Meaning he was alone with Raven, utterly and completely alone. The thought of this made a grin slowly spread on Robin's face._

_Raven flipped from channel to channel in search of something 'decent' to watch; unfortunately her choices were very limited. Hallmark commercials, soap operas, bad comedy shows, and 80's romance movies galore, seemed to flood every channel she turned to. She finally landed on salvation; TCM was showing the original Sabrina with Audrey Hepburn._

_Robin sat on the counter of the kitchen and sipped his soda as he watched Raven, within a few minutes she seemed to be enraptured by the film._

_About forty-five minutes into the movie, Robin had finished his soda and Raven was in the same state she was in when the movie began. He softly jumped off the counter and walked over to the sofa. Robin kneeled behind the back of the couch, a few inches away from where she sat, and looked over at her. If she had sensed him there, she showed no sign of it. Robin saw his chance; he reached over and gently played with a few strands of her hair._

_Raven looked at him quizzically and raised an eyebrow. "The hell are you doing?"_

_"Playing with your hair." He retorted, without looking up to see her face._

_"Why?"_

_"Because you have gorgeous hair." The boy wonder smiled softly as he stopped what he was doing and lifted his gaze to her eyes._

_"Robin…medication…buy some…now." With that Raven turned back to the movie._

_Unfortunately this effort to ignore him proved futile, Raven found it hard to concentrate on the movie, mostly because what just happened seemed to weird to be real. She closed her eyes and listened to the words coming from the speakers._

"Au revoir, Sabrina."

"Good night, Linus."

"He's a little on the dull side, but you can't help liking him."

"Kiss me, David."

"I'd love to, Sabrina."

_Raven opened her eyes as the couple pulled away from the kiss, the empath glanced at Robin, who was watching the screen, and closed her eyes again._

"Again."

"That's better."

"What's the matter? You're not worried about us? I'm not."

_She opened her eyes again to see two of the main characters debating their relationship as well as Sabrina's relationship with Linus. Raven sighed and was once again caught up in the story. Robin looked over at her, he smiled, its funny how girls can get so caught up in these old fashion movies._

_After another fifteen minutes, the boy wonder decided to test his luck again. He ran his fingertips ever so lightly down the side of her neck, when she tensed he smirked and whispered. "I hope you know you're beautiful."_

_At this point, Raven freaked out. She moved farther down the couch to get away from the young man and shot him a nasty glare._

_"Stop it Robin."_

_"Stop what? I thought it was the next line in the movie!" He said, feigning innocence._

_"Uh huh." She turned her attention back to the television._

_"Raven, don't flatter yourself." Robin replied, more cruelly than he intended._

_The film went on and on, seeing as there were no commercials, it never seemed to end. Raven wasn't too phased by this prospect, but it was starting to wear out Robin. He decided to leave before he had to kill himself._

_Instead of departing, he stood began to walk in the goth girl's direction. He stopped right behind her and bent down so his head was right next to hers. Drawing a breath he said softly into her ear._

_"What would you do if you knew I loved you?"_

_On that note he stood, turned around and left before she could utter a word._

The two sat in silence, for neither one of them knew what to say.

"That," began Beast Boy, breaking the silence, "has got to be one of the-"

"Just don't say anything," interrupted Raven. "Don't say anything at all."

"I don't get it, man!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "Where in the world did Robin come up with the idea that he loved you?"

"_He _didn't come up with it, Beast Boy. The author of this story did."

"Still, it doesn't make sense. What evidence is there? Are we just supposed to assume that every time he looks at you he pops one?"

Raven said nothing at this.

"I mean, I suppose there are limitations, and I understand not all guys have standards, but since you two are alone in a room he's automatically interested?"

"I suppose so," responded the empath in monotone. "Wait… What did you mean by 'not all guys have standards'?"

"I suppose that maybe this cartoon gave an implication that the two of you were going out…"

"Are you implying that I'm not good enough for most men?"

"Even if I was," answered Beast Boy, "I've decided something. There are just way too many fanfics on this website that are similar to each other."

"I take it you've read stuff like the one we read before?"

"Exactly."

"So…" Raven didn't understand. "Why do you keep coming to this website, then?"

"Simple," Beast Boy responded, giving a shrug. "I'm hooked."

**FIN**


End file.
